An Update on Bebe Barnes

For whatever reason, even though we're incredibly excited about the whole thing, we've been inclined to keep my belly and our baby mostly to ourselves for the majority of this pregnancy. Of course we've shared updates with family and those around us, but we haven't shared it more broadly across social media, and I've even been horrifically slow at informing my friends. Our last and only baby/pregnancy update in this (or any other) online space was back in December, so it's probably high time for another. Here is a random assortment of details about this pregnancy and this baby that I'd like to share and/or remember:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

We've officially decided to name this little girl Naomi Catherine Barnes. We determined somewhere along the way that we'd like to bestow upon our children a middle name with some family history and a first name that we choose for no other reason than that we like it and hope it's something that they can grow into and make their own. Catherine is my grandmother's name, and a good, solid, feminine one, so we knew pretty quickly that we wanted to use that as her middle name. Naomi is just something we mutually liked; it kind of came out of nowhere and stuck. I feel like it's a tried and true real name - no weird spellings or a made up collection of syllables here; it's not too trendy; it's in a good spot in the popularity charts - hopefully she won't be one of twelve with the same name in her class; and we like it, which is, at the end of the day, the deciding factor. Drew's mom told us that Naomi was her "pretend name" growing up - she always chose to be Naomi when playing - so that's kind of a fun, unexpected connection to the name, too.

Naomi. Naomi. Naomi. 

Naomi Barnes. Naomi Barnes. Naomi Barnes. 

Naomi Catherine Barnes. Naomi Catherine Barnes. Naomi Catherine Barnes.

So far, the name has been able to favorably withstand the fluctuating preferences that accompany pregnancy as well as the say-it-10-times-fast game, so, barring a very convincing epiphany or a new serial killer named Naomi in the news, we've decided.

 * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

I originally thought I'd take a picture of my growing middle every week, but that just hasn't happened. Perhaps it's been a good thing after all, since time goes by more quickly when you aren't measuring it so frequently and visually, but I realized that, for other people, the pictures that are taken and shared are amusingly shocking when they're few and far between. I recently rounded up the baby bump pictures we've taken over the past 6 months or so; here they are:

October 4, 2013

9 weeks

October 5, 2014

9 weeks

November 18, 2013

15 weeks

December 7, 2013

18 weeks

January 4, 2014

22 weeks

January 20, 2014
24 weeks

January 27, 2014
25 weeks

February 13, 2014
28 weeks

March 7, 2014
31 weeks

March 15, 2014
32 weeks

March 24, 2014
33 weeks

March 25, 2014
33 weeks

April 5, 2014
35 weeks

I remember starting to feel somewhere around 20 weeks that I had a sizable bump growing, but looking back now, I can hardly remember what it felt like to have such a relatively miniature middle. And a pre-pregnancy waist? Those memories are long gone. While I really have enjoyed pregnancy (maybe more like appreciated or respected or been in awe of it), I won't be at all sad to trade in my current beach ball belly shape for a significantly flatter one. Many things are simply easier and more enjoyable when you aren't lugging around a bowling ball under your shirt.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've already been sucked into baby gear over-consumption, but I identified the error of my ways and escaped unscathed. At one point, we were the proud owners of not one, but two, strollers. My mom bought the first one for us at a consignment sale we went to a month or two ago. It was exactly what we were looking for in almost every way - metal instead of plastic; solid, gender-neutral colors; three air-filled, all-terrain, rubber wheels; convenient under-seat storage for mama/papa and baby junk; a good-sized canopy over a comfy seat that reclines fully; and a great price. But it didn't fold compactly enough to fit in my rather compact car, which is a minor problem for adventures that require some travel. A few days later, I was in a consignment store and found stroller perfection - all of the same features we already had, but this one has brighter colors, is really lightweight, and folds so compactly that it fits easily in my hatchback. Again, it was a steal given its hardly used condition and the current retail price, so we became a two-stroller, no-baby-yet family.

After a few weeks of moving both strollers from room to room in our apartment and experiencing the nagging stress of having too much unnecessary stuff, something had to give. So, I loaded stroller numero uno into my car (with some difficulty and only after laying the backseats down), and left it in the capable hands of the salesladies at the consignment store across the street. They priced it and sold it the very next day. Although it was a little challenging to get rid of something perfectly useful and relatively valuable, in the end, we came away with a small profit and some freed up space in our apartment and minds. We'll be remaining a one-stroller family until our circumstances (rather than mere availability or a good deal) dictate the purchase of a second or different one. There is a reason we intentionally looked for a stroller that would be durable enough for light jogging, hiking, and other off-road experiences, yet small and agile enough for stores and other more populated venues; we only need one.

^ The keeper ^

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I've been asked a lot lately whether I'm entering the nesting phase. Yes and no. Since we're staying in our one-bedroom apartment until the end of June, as far as sleeping arrangements go, Naomi will be parking it in a pack-and-play/portable crib for the first few months of her life (Drew thinks we need to keep her out of our bed; we'll see how long that lasts). The rest of her material goods are being stashed as creatively as possible in the available spaces in our room, although Peter delivered a piece of furniture to us this weekend that will definitely make storage simpler. Mostly, we've just tried to keep the accumulation of stuff to a minimum, a prospect that is liberating most of the time, but scary at others. What if those aisles and aisles of baby paraphernalia are actually necessary? What if she really needs a Boppy and a Bumbo and bottles and a fancy bassinet? But she doesn't. And I think we'll all be happier if baby's simple needs are met simply. So, nesting for me so far consists of picking up little second-hand dresses and nightgowns here and there; buying soft fabric for burp cloths and bibs and blankets; and getting our apartment as clean and organized as possible before we bring a new little person home to it.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

On Friday, I had a routine, 35-week check-up. It was supposed to be one of those 10-minute visits where the nurse checks my weight and blood pressure, and the doctor comes in to measure my uterus and listen to the baby's heartbeat. Any questions or concerns? Well, yea, a million, but the internet and my growing collection of library books answered most of them, so, Nope, I think we're doing okay. Well, on Friday, the wrong nurse came to get me from the waiting room, so I got to my exam room a little earlier than I should have. It just so happened that the doctor's office had just gotten a brand new 3D ultrasound machine and the technician was training my doctor and midwife to use it that day. So, as one of the only pregnant women around at the time, I was asked to volunteer my womb for a practice ultrasound session. Drew and I had only gotten visual, technological confirmation of the reality of our offspring once before - at our normal, 20-week, 2D ultrasound - so of course I was more than happy to lay back and watch images of our little girl flash across a screen. 

So, instead of just hearing her heartbeat with the Doppler probe, I got to see her heartbeat on the ultrasound machine. The image below is a picture of her chest, which shows her little ribs and heart, and a reading of her heartbeat:

And, even cooler, I got to see her face! It's difficult to get a good 3D ultrasound picture of a 35-week-old fetus because she's relatively large (especially compared to her 20-week-old self) and her head is fully engaged in my pelvis. There is a lot of uterine junk in front of her face, including the umbilical cord, but ignoring all of that biology, I think she's just beautiful.

Thanks to the ultrasound, the midwife was also able to tell me a little more about our little girl than I would have otherwise discovered at any ordinary appointment. Based on her head, belly, and femur measurements, the machine estimated her current weight at 6 pound 4 ounces and her development at just over 36 weeks; right on track and maybe a little ahead of schedule. She's also upside down and fully engaged in my pelvis at zero station. The midwife checked me, too, because I mentioned that, even though they're mostly painless, I sometimes have more than the magic 4 contractions in an hour (especially when moving around a lot). I was 50% effaced, but not at all dilated, so I'm right on track as well.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Right now, at 35+ weeks...

...heartburn and pelvic pressure have replaced Charley horses as the most uncomfortable side effects of pregnancy. As Naomi grows, she puts more and more pressure on both my northern and southern hemispheres, pushing my stomach up into my throat with her feet and pushing everything else into my pelvis with her head. I had never experienced heartburn before being pregnant, and I now have deep empathy for the people who have it regularly. The first time I experienced a particularly bad bout of it (after too much dinner at Olive Garden), I was fairly certain that it felt like a heart attack (I can only guess, of course); it's crazy how you can feel the gurgling of a little stomach acid from your head to your back. Eating smaller meals and more slowly (both of which are very difficult at Olive Garden...) go a long way to prevent heartburn, but not much is truly effective at stopping it once it hits; that hasn't kept me from self-medicating with ice cream, just in case. As Naomi has settled deeply into my pelvis in preparation for her grand entrance into the world, and as my pelvic bones have shifted to make her entrance possible, my loosey-goosey hips have started grumbling about bearing an unusual amount of weight. They groan particularly loudly after sleeping on my side all night, so it takes quite a while to extract myself from the bed these days (due to sheer pain, not sleepiness or laziness, although those things are having an increasingly large effect on me lately as well).

...Naomi continues to be a mover and a shaker. I regularly see and feel baby body parts roll across my abdomen. They're sharp little appendages, but it tickles in a way and often makes me giggle. Sometimes, her tap-dancing and twirling in there makes it difficult to fall asleep, and sometimes, I wake up to her tumbling about. In spite of a little discomfort or lost sleep, my sometimes paranoid and uncertain first-time mom mind definitely appreciates her frequent and powerful movements.

...I'm more convinced than ever that consigned baby gear is the way to go, particularly with the more complicated items, because they come pre-assembled. Judging from the amount of frustration we experienced just trying to get our pack-and-play to stand up and collapse, our tempers probably wouldn't have survived complete assembly. In fact, we haven't assembled any baby gear at all, since our stroller also came ready-to-use, and our carseat, though new, consists of just two pieces.

...I still haven't had any crazy food cravings or aversions. I've periodically avoided certain foods based on suppositions that they might be causing heartburn, but those avoidances have usually been short-lived since they've been largely ineffective. For a while, nuts seemed to be correlated with breathing fire, so I stopped eating peanut butter and started buying almond-free cereals and granola bars. I even endured an entire road trip to Charleston and Savannah and back with a perfectly good bag of peanut M&Ms in the car without eating a single one (luckily, we also had a bag of plain M&Ms on hand...). For the most part, I've maintained the same eating habits that I had before I was feeding a little (very cute and welcomed) parasite in addition to myself. I've had a few emergency bowls of cereal at 4am after waking up simply famished; I feel some additional pressure to consume something green each day; and I think I'm extra cautious around questionable food items, but that's really about it; overall, I've been incredibly lucky in the gastronomic department.

...I've now returned most of my pregnancy and childbirth library books in exchange for ones on breastfeeding and bringing home baby. In many ways, I really believe that all of those things - growing, birthing, and caring for a baby - just come to us, either instantly and instinctually or gradually and when needed from the lessons learned by those who have done it all before. Still, leafing through books on this and that has helped me feel more knowledgeable and confident before embarking upon what is bound be one of the most unpredictable and exciting adventures of our lives. I think the key will be not taking anything in any book too seriously and ultimately embracing the fact that, most of the time, in parenting like anything else in life, we'll probably be flying by the seat of our pants, no matter how much we read.

...Ready or not, we're almost at the end of this pregnancy thing. Next up is getting her safely to the outside; that part is definitely a big deal, but I realize that it's relatively short in the grand scheme of things. The real fun begins once she's here and really ours, and we go about figuring out exactly what to do with her - how to properly introduce her to this big, beautiful world and teach her how to love and improve it. I envision many more trips to the Parenting section of the library...